Sample Chapter of White Trash Legend a true story by HC Smitty

Chapter 1
Lord protect me from my friends, my enemies I see my enemies coming, my friends I don't. That had always been an issue for me when I was ripping and running someone close would be a key part of my capture or conviction that sent me to prison. Calling them friends is a stretch thinking back on it. I don't sit and binge onresentments any longer. At one point in life I did just that. I would binge on resentment, anger, disappointment,making me bitter and uncaring. Those things are not my natural state of being or disposition. I am a very joyous and compassionate person. People may not get that as a first impression, however after getting to know me they find that the old saying is true. You can't judge a book by its cover. I have a good friend that told me about a year into our friendship that the first time he saw me he perceived me as this cocky arrogant asshole from the way I walk and my mannerisms. I laughed and told him I was glad to have not fed into that role. I think my confidence sometimes is seen as arrogance. Truth be told I can be a little cocky and I'm cool with that because it's me and when I'm in a state of depression or desperation I feel far from confident.
I have real friends today and I am a real friend to those people that I consider family. I have the family I was born with and the one I chose. I am a firm believer that what you put out into the world is what comes back to you. So the friends I used to have that I needed God to protect me from were the fruits of the seeds I’d sown in some cases vegetables. I have done things I am not proud of which gives me anxiety in writing my tale that is about to unfold for you. I hope I can convey the true essence of who I truly am. Cocky? Yes guilty as charged. I titled my book White Trash Legend. It is pretty much started from the jump. However I do have humility and I have so much gratitude. I am also kind and considerate and genuinely care about the happiness and well being of others.
I am not sure of the message I want to convey in this book, or even have a message to begin with. I want to examine my life and share it with the world. My life is precious to me and I thank Godeach morning for giving me another day. I tell God that I will rejoice and be glad. Today I do just that, I start my day full of hope and excitement of the possibilities that lay ahead. That is my present, and most of what will fill these pages will be the past. That version of me became very different from the one writing this. I had compromised my code, even if I never voiced this code or acknowledge its existence. It was tattooed on my soul at conception. When I live contrary to my code suffering is the result. Not only for me but others close to me, anyone misfortunate enough to come within my gravitational pull. It may seem to some that I am glorifying crime, debauchery, and drug use. At times it certainly felt glorious, and exciting that’s a fact and I won’t deny it. I’m giving you the raw uncut dope. I’m not that guy that says my worst day sober is better than my best day getting high. That coming from me would be a bold face lie. Because I had some really fucking good times getting high and breaking the law. I have also had some pretty fucking disasterous days sober I never want to relive.
     I am not a born again believer in the system we have and its morals. I don’t have an issue with anyone using drugs. I would caution however to stay mindful and weigh the risks involved. It is when drugs or something like it replace something we are gifted with and has always been a part of our soul. Or something bestowed upon us by others as a precious gift. Then it becomes harmful spiritually, that is where the core damage occurs in the spirit. Some drugs are very dangerous for sure and there is a risk of overdose. Also buying drugs can be dangerous in itself let's face it Mr. Rogers isn’t selling drugs in his neighborhood and welcoming you in. However I believe they can be used by some as a way to experience life from a whole different perspective and have perceptions we would never have normally. Not everyone is suited for using any drugs or anything that has the possible chance of addiction. If already obsessive, good chance that will carry over into other areas. The drugs in themselves are not the real problem, it is me that is the problem, or maybe it’s you also but that is something to decide for yourself. I wish that we didn’t live in a world where it gets to the point where sticking a needle in your arm full of drugs that you have no idea of how they were made, bought from a person you don’t know seems like a good idea. We as a human race are hurting tremendously in spirit and search for healing outside of that spirit. I spent the majority of my life searching the wrong places. I made a good amount of mistakes along my way. I did however have quite an adventure. I am blessed to still have my sense of wonder and adventure. It has dimmed at times but today it is as vibrant as it was when I was child yet to experience the world.
I want to take you, my readers, into the legend of my life and let you draw your own conclusions. I want to give people reading this a glimpse into what prison is like and how twisted it is and the effects of crime and punishment in America. Was justice served? Did the sentences imposed benefit the victim? Or me the offender ? How about society were they in any way benefitted?
I want to entertain and be authentic at the same time. I want to show the irony that is so prevalent within our society, as well as the racial and economic disparages in the justice system. There is so much to be considered in how I present this endeavor that it is very daunting, and difficult. There is a part of me the selfish part whispering, “fuck it” just toss this spiritual journey aside be contentdriving a forklift. My soul on the other hand wants to persevere and just let the words come out. Truth be told I need to tap this vein and let metaphoric blood flow as a cleansing. This is me facing the past, owning it and conquering my demons once and for all. Spiritual warfare.
This is not a book on a particular subject matter. If anything my life does not boil down to one simple subject. I can no longer let things that are cancerous to my soul fester and eat away at the good left in me. Exposing it to light is the weapon that will free me from its grip. You, my dear reader, will be my compatriot in the battle to come. This is my story and it is absolute and complete in its authenticity, and genuinely written from the heart. We are all heroes of our own story, and legends in our own minds.
When a leader conquers and subjugates the people he is called King. Through wealth men can control industry and property becomes Lords. A soldier turns the tide of war and is called a hero. Songs, and sonnets are written about these men. They are written about in our history books. Not many men of mention have clean hands. There are others however that live by their own code, their own way on their own terms and gain loyalty, and love not by fear or by station, title, and wealth. These other men gain it through charisma, strength and character. Their stories are street stories told from bar stools, and in the parking lot of 12 step meetings. Passed down from prison cells, or father to son as they wrench on a chopper. These men we call legend, and it is hard for all of us to keep our hands clean.